crucify christmas

the only way

to have “christmas every day”

is to abolish it once and for all

 

jesus christ

you probably deserved a better tribute than this

some of us earthly humans really tried

to carry your legacy

but the roman state shifted shape

from one conquest to the next

and by the time it succeeded in colonizing

your revolutionary history

we didn’t recognize it as an oppressor

at all

 

i’m really sorry

to inform you that

just as the crucifix has been reduced to a

representation of devotion to the powerful

so has christmas become stripped of even

its own weakened spirit

 

for the sake of historical insurrection

let us attempt to combine

the two turtle-doves,

holiday and cross,

and

crucify christmas

 

christmas, you are hereby charged with the

murder of jesus’

legacy of universal love

and acceptance

in the first degree

you are further charged

with felony assault on life

with money, a deadly weapon,

which was and always will be

found at the scene

of your crimes

 

knowing as we do that

a jury of your peers would sentence you

to a large but manageable fine

and a meager probation,

we, the people

who few still somehow care

for the past, present and future

well-being and prosperity of life

and humanity’s small part within it,

irrevocably sentence

you to death

 

we thought to opt for incarceration

but quickly dismissed the notion of using

your own weapon against you

 

santa, as the footsoldier who carried out

the majority of christmas’ atrocities,

you will be properly shackled at the feet

and strapped to a large wooden cross

which burden you will haul three quarters of a mile

from the motorcade in the parking lot

to the center stage

in the courtyard

of the mall

of america

 

there you will be forced

to raise the cross yourself

and lean it on the corpse

of a noble pine,

whose life you are also guilty of ending,

you will be tied vigorously to your final home

with the largest incandescent light-strings imaginable,

stripped to the nude

and pelted with chestnuts

as your feet roast on an open fire below

 

hanging there like a yuletide stocking

you will slowly begin to notice the

menagerie of your accomplices,

the bankers and lawyers,

marketing agents and mothers,

musicians and poets,

pundits and pope,

ups drivers and hallmark sale associates,

talking snowmen,

icy polititians

and all the little boys and girls

both naughty and nice,

all of us complicit in and therefore guilty of

the great homicide of our time,

bound in tinsel and wreath,

locked up with you

on that silent night

inside the mall

whose only remaining commodity

is revenge

 

listen, santa baby,

listen, all, to the sweet silver bells

of justice that sound

as the emancipated slave

formerly known as rudolph

lights the entire mall ablaze

with the fire hidden in his nose,

putting evil Decemberism

once and for all

to sleep

in heavenly peace

 

 

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a view

from here

i see peace

 

i didn’t recognize it at first

mistook it for my own

feelings

feelings of joy

of calm

which themselves are wonderful

but no

they are not part of

the peace i see

from here

 

i am a temporal man

from here

from here

the peace is timeless

all its fragility and chaos

its perfection

its blemishes

are fluid

and cannot be packaged

it stands

so why

can i see this peace

from here?

 

from here

i find a new perspective

on perspective

i make out

distant reflections

in the hall of mirrors

the water of this peace

i feel my childhood crawl

out of the sea

i see

from here

 

from here

i see without light

the compelling current of time

tricking me into thinking

i could reduce this

enormity

to the size of my

breast pocket though i am in

error

please

don’t take me

away

from here.

orbit

the day seems more whole

unto itself, a friend

dependable

 

guilty of exhausting myself

with questions like,

‘what’s your name?’

and

‘why do i recognize that smell?’

because my new acquaintance

has promised to support me

in my exploration

and couldn’t care less

if i gave any new discovery its name

 

witnessing the invisible

wind composes music

to which the trees dance

and in

all the dynamic rhythms of our days

i shut everything out

to focus on the single leaf

 

it was not the first to jump from

familiar heights

nor will it last

or be

for long

 

have you ever smelled a piece of quartz?

that is the water of my new chapter

where the lack of strong sensation

is the substance of comfort

and reassurance

 

yes, i will pick up this soggy deer hide

and let it fill me with dreams of loss

and conquer

toes frozen, heart ablaze

 

somehow it is so clear

that everything here is contained

in its own void

 

i let it rain on my laptop

and with my feet firmly in the soil

i fly in dependable orbit around my

own history

and hear the prayer

that needs no recipient

alarm clock

radiation spewing

light from your phone at 5 am

frozen to the screen

while i wrestle with my sub-conscious

six rounds, one hour a piece

it’s a fight to the death

nightly, yeah i’m a survivor

i’ve conquered darth vader’s older brother

while running the nails of my backbone

down a chalk board

i’ve stabbed my father

more times

than i care to count

i’ve emptied a few prisons

in my day

all in a night’s work

but damn

they always fill back up

i’ve pleaded with the lord

ghastly, on high

don’t take my momma, please

you can have my step-sister though

i’ve searched for so many

god damn knee high socks

i couldn’t even tell

you how many soccer games i’ve

been late for

in my dreams

i’ve made love to humans

with shifting body parts, shapes

all taste different

but certainly must be the same person

love is just

love

no matter where i hide it

will always surprise the one it encounters

broken hearts are far more interesting

they don’t smile

but still look good for the camera

lay down under my back

and lick me until i tell you to stop

okay dog that’s enough

i’m trying to ignore my alarm clock

going for it

start early to avoid the heat

this work can be sickening but

i feel better having thrown up

so much paint

 

working in quadrants is more rewarding

on this page of the internet

than it is out there

with a ladder and a brush

 

at least that’s true in the short term

what a neo-technological declaration!

i don’t think of myself as a millenial

but apparently I really like instant gratification

 

by now we’ve been watching paint dry

for at least a month and a half

and in that time we’ve decided

we’re painting for others, not ourselves

 

this pig looks good in lipstick

maybe the floors don’t quite line up

but hey, we’ve turned this place from homely to home

and it was all for nothing

 

nothing except a few great years

maybe our last metropolitan ones

and some great practice erecting paradise

and working together, in other words, for everything

 

starting tonight we’ll try in earnest

to trade it for money so we can start all over

in a place that is much more noticably

rising out of the middle of the sea

 

seeking peace and quiet, light and soil,

a structure free of mold and saddness

and a small community at the far-left

of this incendiary country

 

i long for new ideas about using land

harnessing human and earth energy alike

the space to see myself clearly

and a forest for my kid to get lost in

 

we may be leaving our friends behind

saying farewell to our sense of place

but we are not going against the current

we’re going for it

words against words

Could this be how they felt

running wild-eyed I imagine with a passion

not one could label

a desire indescribable

a longing without adjectives?

I envy those early us’s

grounded in the chaos of a

new linguistic miracle

I wish I could read the world’s

shortest dictionary

 

The family tree,

even the most complex primate phylogeny

we can concoct

they’re all vertical diagrams

which suggests and antagonistic relationship

to gravity

In time all trees decay and die,

but it’s hard to deny

that the least permanent of its features

are the small twigs and greens.

Can we reconcile our branching out

with the forces of nature?

 

Falling leaves bring tears to some

and to others, joy

we are inversely connected to the reset button

by our attachment to fleeting life

and thus our denial of its bigger picture.

 

I see us playing, working, fighting

way out on a limb

as if we have no knowledge of its structural limit

and if we don’t get a break from our

addiction to outward expansion and progress

we will surely find ourselves scrambling

cartoon-like

hanging in the air of ignorance

with no where to go

but down.

scrawled exponential

beginning

methinks

with the first conversation

and thus founded by the first words

exchanged

between two or more

lesser great apes,

ending perhaps

as early as tomorrow

or twenty eight days later,

ideology

as cognitive culture

created the space for

understanding

and its misses

 

imagine how skilled at listening

were those early gossipers

taking no grunt for granted

not distracted by a thousand

names in their head

nor disillusioned by tropes

nor fooled by the belches

of a politician,

there was a message to experience

and with the right patience and

concentration

a deep understanding would unfold,

a miracle

 

sharing experience through noise

through full-body gestures

and an eye’s contact

soon we primates were a more powerful

collective soul than we could express

without violence

so we opted for that sort of thing

banding together

pretending that the strength of our connection

with an isolated group of hairless monkeys

was somehow more holy

than that with any other

and faction after faction

after fissure

after valley after peak

in the cultural cartography

of the wise-and-two-legged

was

scrawled exponential

on the map

of the universe

which we now ignore

 

insulated now

from

the reality of other’s

by this same

liberating capacity

which brought us connection

on a wholly-[un]holy level

we sure have come a long way

so far a way

from those fledgling conversations

we may have forever lost

the ability to use the

language

as the gift it

really is